Please comment on this poem…?
symphony
a crack of thunder
a cloying scent
permeates the air
as lambent streaks
lash the tempestuous ether
storm clouds hail
staccato beats into
sun-baked earth
made sodden
by the relentless deluge
daylight’s radiance bleeds away
into a dusky tapestry
studded with pinpoints of light
while the wind howls
its keening dirge
argent flames hiss
crimson flames roar
as the ardent chorus
of the empyreal choir
soars for the night sky
clamorous tranquility
harmonious dissonance
nature’s symphony
Does the writing sound more like prose than poetry?
robert is right, there are 2 things wrong with this poem:
1). This isn’t poetry. Let it flow more, produce a poetic feeling from it.
2). This poem didn’t come from your heart. Mean what you write and you are certain to improve.
Poetry is from the soul.
Mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090102094152AA2VRtn
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